Home Again

We got home on Tuesday afternoon. Happy to be home.

Almost done with the chemo for Cycle 5

Michele checked in to the hospital on Thursday night. They started the first Chemo Treatment late that night. It gets confusing on tracking this information. Day 1 started at 11:00 on Thursday night. I almost must trick myself and say 11:00 PM back home but here it is 8:00am tomorrow. I am traveling one way or another 8-).

This cycle has 4 days of Chemo and then another dose on Day 11. We have finished the 4 days of chemo now. We got a day rest and today she is getting the second done for her Ommaya reservoir done. A friend is taking her today and giving me some time to get a few things done.

The procedure today they will suction some Cerebrospinal fluid from the port so they check for signs of Leukemia in the fluid, they will put the chemo in the port, and then put fluid saved back in the reservoir to push the chemical to the brain. Go ahead… close your eyes and imagine someone doing this to you. Gives shivers.

Michele swears she does not feel anything when they do it. Some people feel it and some can hear something. I can’t wait for her to think the faucet is running.

Hospital

There is marriage, there is pandemic quarantined marriage, and then there is hospital marriage. We had a full-on hospital marriage this week. The hospital at MD Anderson is massive and connects to all the campus buildings. The rooms are quite large as well. The sounds and emotions of the hospital are confined to a small shoebox.

The pains, the discomfort, the non-stop attention you get in a hospital all happen in the shoebox. Everyone in the room absorb all that these things emit.

Rational people would look at Michele and see her “Lion” personality on display, working, winning, and inspiring. Mike is a steady support for her. The survivors of it know that it is the inner compass, the character, their inner strengths being exposed. The survivors know that the soul is also quietly being exposed in the shoebox.

I think our soul carriers the full emotions of a person and manages how much each comes out. I call this past week a rough visit. We got confused, irritated, anxious, sad, mad, and a bit of “insane”. And helplessness. When there is pain and no sound reason for it. When the first med doesn’t ease the pain and you have to go a second one. When you say it is going to be ok and you can see that they don’t believe you.

We had a lot of those moments and tears. Just walking around the building and reading some of the stories on the walls you get overwhelmed. There is a raw emotion between happy and sad that releases deep tears. We have not cried as hard, since the first hospital stay in October. We were ready to get out as soon as we could.

We made it

Released from the hospital, we headed home and tried to take a breath. Here body was still in effect from the chemo so she was hot when I was cold and cold when I was hot. This is what I call the Katy Perry phase. 😎

Yesterday both made attempts to get some work done. She was fighting being tired. We needed rest. We laid down, put on law and order, and then rested and got back to laughter.

I have a good friend that says “If it is funny later, it is funny now.” Well, we certainly did not experience the funny now moments but in hindsight… We did. Will hold on to a few of those stories until a little more time passes.

We have one more dose of Chemo on Sunday and that will complete the chemo portion of cycle 5. We still have many more to go.

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