As I write this we are cruising into the home stretch. This bag runs for 24 hours and should be done around 6pm this afternoon. We should be in the car shortly thereafter.
Today should bring our season of INPATIENT stays to an end.
Our car still has many miles ahead going back and forth the Med Center for blood, radiation, and maintenance chemo. We are told it is a severely reduced dosage to keep the disease at bay. We are expecting a 2-3 year timeframe to continue our trips to the clinic.
Getting back to living
Cancer is forever with you. It is a part of you. Survivor is the normal label you have for people that have beaten disease back to live a long and fruitful life. As I walked the halls to breakfast this morning I am reminded that we are all storm chasers. We are either going into a storm, in a storm, or coming out of a storm. We are coming out of a storm right now.
When you think about storms you think about sheltering and shoring up to protect yourself through it. In these times you learn to live within the cocoon of your house, your close friends, and the Medical Center. We know there are things to be cautious about as life reopens for us. As we step back in to living!
There is travel to do, people to see, and examples to live out. Her immune system will still need to be protected. We will avoid the big crowds. What I know is that we will appreciate more, take less BS, and work harder to shine the light for others to follow.
I have done more than enough “camping” in the hospitals for a life time. As I woke up this morning on my couch/bed and looked out of the window I want to appreciate the time I have had to be here. Many times in the last months I have felt the overwhelming fatigue that comes with being a full time caregiver. It was not physically challenging to be here, but emotionally and mentally it was a bridge I was unsure I could cross.
I told a friend recently that I have learned to curse a lot more in this time. It can be a freeing feeling for sure! I have also learned that Love in its purest form is in the quiet. It is felt in the presence of another. My mind has struggled with “blankness” over these months. Moments where you can’t think or work but simply just sit. Waiting for something to be needed or exhausted from the worry and gravity of the situation. Even when Michele was at her lowest points, I could count on her hand lending a simple touch.
In the last couple of weeks as we approached what today would bring we both have had a renewed sense of hope and energy. Michele has said she feels better than she has in the last 8 months. I have had more energy to share as well. Time to think and work more than I have been able to as well. Many things are shifting for the better in our world.
I hope to see you soon and we all have more smiles, laughter, dancing, and living to share.
Enjoy Hump day!